


Written In The Stars

by NoseBridgePinch



Category: South Park
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:13:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29435871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoseBridgePinch/pseuds/NoseBridgePinch
Summary: "Their love is written in the stars, but the world conspires to tear them apart." -Matt Stone; Her career washed up and with nobody left to turn to, Wendy Testaburger turns to the only person left she trusts - her ex-boyfriend Stan. Back by popular demand, Happy Valentine's Day! Written with John and Rachel before our friendship went to hell.
Relationships: Stan Marsh/Wendy Testaburger
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

“Their love is written in the stars, but the world conspires to keep them apart…” -Matt Stone

Written in the Stars

Chapter One

By Amanda and John

It was a cold October evening, and snow was pouring down the homes and hills of South Park, Colorado quite hard. A blanket of white was covering nearly everything, from the cars to the homes to the sidewalk to the street. It was a winter wonderland. The wind was strong, however, making it a bit of a hassle for one to leave the home. Luckily it was past dinnertime, so most citizens were content to relax in their homes.  
She would think the place she grew up in covered in powder would be a beautiful sight if the heater on her car wasn't broken. She drove around the streets, passing her old childhood home, now vacant. It wasn't the house she was looking for though, she turned east and headed towards Bonaza Street.

Stan Marsh was sitting alone at his kitchen table eating dinner - he had a rough game with the kids that afternoon and they'd barely pulled through against the kids from Middle Park. He had rather harsh features, with well-maintained black hair spilling over his face and simple dark blue eyes. He was currently wearing a red T-shirt with a brown jacket over it as he took another bite of his pre-cooked meal.  
Stan chewed the stale, premade frozen burger. It would taste a lot better if he had sliced cheese to put on top of it, but alas it was hard times for the dairy industry. He was interrupted by Shane, an old blue healer he had rescued from the pound begging at the table. He sighed and gave the dog a few french fries off his plate, cursing himself for spoiling that dog so he could never eat in peace. Stan hadn't eaten in peace at his home in a long time, or with another actual person come to think of it.

He was interrupted by the doorbell ringing, old Shane along with the other dogs he had started causing a racket. Stan tried to shush the dog as he made his way to the front door. He opened the door to see a girl his age on the front step, standing there and looking down with those unforgettable green eyes he recognized instantly. She had black hair down past her shoulders - in his memory it had been silky, but now it was unkempt and wild, the pink beret atop her head dirty and old. Her face had either a stain or a bruise on it, and she had a large trench coat on, arms hugging her body as the snow poured. She looked as if ready to cry. "W-Wendy?" he said in disbelief.

"Hi Stan... it's... been a long time, I know..." she said quietly, her usually confident voice shaking as she trembled.

Stan's stomach turned at the sight of her, it took him a second to regain his composure. "Wendy, what happened? What are you doing here? Please come in! It must be below freezing." Stan took her by the hand and led her in, shutting the door behind her. He put his arm around her as he walked her into the living room and sat her down on his couch. "Should I make a fire?" Stan pointed to the newly installed wood fireplace in one corner of the room.

"You don't have to..." Wendy mumbled under her breath, still shivering as she entered the house, "I'm really sorry to bother you, I'm sure you're busy... it's just... I have no one else to turn to." she explained, "I've become a social pariah, Stan, and now I have nowhere to go. I don't even know where Bebe is and I don't even have the money to go to Florida to see my parents and... you're the only other person I've ever really trusted..."

"It's no trouble really, and it'll warm you up." Tyler, a golden retriever Stan had also rescued came up to the couch, sniffing at the new visitor. "Fuck off." Stan tried to push the dog away. Soon the four dogs Stan owned were all at the couch, sniffing and begging Wendy for attention. "Sorry, do you want me to put the dogs in another room?" Stan tried to shoo the dogs away as he got up towards the fireplace but Wendy pulled him close into a tight hug, starting to sob into his t-shirt. Stan stayed in place, carefully putting his arms around her. "I'm sorry, I won't let go until you're ready to."

After a moment or so of simply holding on to Stan and bawling her eyes out, Wendy regained her composure and relaxed her grip on him, "Stan, do you remember the dairy tax that got voted on a few weeks ago?" she asked simply, her hands tightly hooking together as her eyes avoided his in fear of his possible reaction. Gone was Wendy's trademark confidence - no, she was in fear, deep fear.

What an odd thing to be talking about right now. "Yeah?" Stan said carefully, confused by her fearful expression. "Wendy, please tell me what’s wrong." His hand went to touch the dark mark on her cheek. "Is that a bruise?"

"It was my idea." Wendy said quietly, sighing again, her voice quivering, "It was all my idea. It seemed so simple - everyone in Colorado lives off dairy. A tax on it would bring in revenue and it could to towards the state deficit... I was so confident in my political abilities I never really stopped and thought it could backfire..." she sighed, "They hate me. Everyone in Colorado hates me now..." as if only now just hearing his question she looked to him, "This?" she put her finger to it, "No, it's nothing..."

Stan licked his thumb and touched the mark, smearing it. "Oh, it's just dirt, thank god. I don't know what I would had done if you were actually hurt." Wendy swatted his hand away and looked down. "The dairy tax? I hear everyone bitching about it, especially my dad but I never stopped to think about it. Mostly I just stopped buying dairy products. That was your idea?" Wendy's bottom lip quivered, and her eyes filled with tears, Stan held her by the shoulders. "Wendy, look at me. Not everyone in Colorado hates you, you have me. It'll be okay."

"You're so sweet, Stan. You've always been..." Wendy smiled a bit, "I won't be here long, I promise, I just need somewhere to stay until I have the money to reach Florida. Then I'll get out of here." she explained, her confidence slowly returning, "I'm sorry, I've spent this whole time just talking about me, it's not fair at all. Tell me how you are Stan! It's been... ten years now?" she said, smile wavering a bit - it felt impossible to think she hadn't been around him, or this town, in such a long time.

"Yeah of course, stay as long as you need to. I could even give you the money if you need to leave the state. I have a guest room, it's my old bedroom actually." Stan got up to move towards the fireplace, but he stopped and turned. "Wendy, how did you know where I lived? I mean, I lived here until I was ten but how did you know I bought my parent's old house?"

"...funny you mention that, Stan..." Wendy said, "I... I'm not really sure myself. I just drove by here and... I don't know, something told me you were here..." she said, her fingers intertwining themselves together as her green eyes became increasingly focused on the floor rather than Stan. "Something told me this was the place."

"But why..." Stan stopped, he was about to ask why him, especially after all that time. He didn't want to really know the answer though, it was obviously because there was no one better left in town... In the ten years since he and all his friends graduated and left for college. "I bet you're hungry. Do you want me to make you something? Do you have a suitcase? I can go get it from your car."

"Thank you, Stan, I'd rather not trouble you, but I know you'll be nice and make me something anyway." Wendy said, smiling a little - he hadn't truly changed much. He was still empathic and kind despite the people around him, "I'll get my stuff out of the car... I've... it's not so nice in there right now, just let me take care of it." she offered, getting up and stretching.

There she was, giving a small glimpse of her vulnerability, then shutting him out and back to business as usual. He shouldn't fall back into old habits of overly trying to please her, but it just came naturally. "What do you want to eat? I'll make you anything you want, well of what ingredients I have in the house."

"Anything's fine, Stan, whatever you have." Wendy explained with a small smile, as she moved towards the door to go collect her items from the car. It felt like such a load off her mind Stan was letting her stay, as if suddenly all of her troubles were gone, though she knew there was still a lot of work to be done. But it was nice being back in her hometown, and with someone she trusted. She reached for the doorknob, "Stan?"  
Stan was shooing the dogs up the stairs to where they slept, Shelly's old bedroom. He turned around and looked at her from the stairs. "Yes Wendy?"

"Thank you." Wendy smiled for a moment, then opened the door and walked outside toward her car.


	2. Chapter 2

“Their love is written in the stars, but the world conspires to keep them apart…” -Matt Stone

Written in the Stars

Chapter Two

By Amanda, Rachel, and John

Stan had gotten to work making another hamburger for Wendy after sending her upstairs to take a much-needed shower. When he heard the stop of water coming from the guest bathroom he went upstairs, plate in hand to check on her. He found Wendy in some ratty PJ’s, the same pink ones she had from when he knew her in high school, passed out on top of the twin sized bed in the guest room. He sighed and placed the plate on the dresser for later, tucking her in with an old blanket his mother had knitted and making sure to turn up the heater a few degrees higher for the night. As he got ready for bed the image of the face was burned into his mind, she had looked so fragile, like she hadn’t gotten any sleep lately. 

Wendy had fallen asleep practically as son as she’d found the bed, and it wasn’t long before her mind set her off to dream. Wendy was always on to look into the meanings of dreams- what did this mean, that mean. She tried to understand the mysticism. This dream was simple and upfront- the denizens of her hometown surrounded her dressed in sheets, holding torches and…gallons of milk. Two of the citizens took her arms and began carrying her somewhere. She tried to kick and struggle- but resistance was futile. She was dragged across the ground until they reached a large wooden state. Another man came forward with rope, the other two holding Wendy to the stake as she was tied to it. The next thing she saw two men stepped forward with their gallons of milk and tossed in on her. 

“Wendy Testaburger, for single-handedly ruining Colorado’s dairy industry with your political greed and selfishness we sentence you to death! How do you plead?”

“Not guilty! I was trying to help the citizens of this state, not hurt them! If you would let me explain-“ Wendy pleaded. 

“No excuses- let her have it!” A long line of people appeared as they started tossing milk onto Wendy’s face and body. In reality milk was mild and cold, but this milk felt hot and acidic, scalding Wendy’s skin. Wendy reached out to fight back, punching and kicking, struggling to get free and suddenly her eyes flew open as she pushed away a pair of hands on her shoulders, it was dark and Stan sat at the edge of her bed, a concerned look on his face rubbing his shoulder. 

“Are you okay?” Stan asked quietly as he looked at her, “What happened?” It felt like a stupid question- he knew what happened. She had a nightmare. But somehow it still felt important to ask the question, despite knowing the answer. Wendy slowly sat up and looked at Stan, biting her lip.

“I’m sorry Stan, I didn’t mean to wake you… I just had a bad dream is all…” she said, holding the blanket close to herself in embarrassment, “I just…” it was hard for her to hold back, “the milk tax. The citizens revolted against me. I was bolted up and some weird acidic milk was being tossed at me…I could feel my skin and bones slowly dissolve… I’m sorry, you don’t want to hear this, do you?” The Wendy Stan had known as a child would have continued her story and drilled it into his head. She would have been confident and brass. But the Wendy before him was quiet and vulnerable. “You better get back to bed. You have work in the morning, right?”

Stan shrugged. “I’m here for you if you need it, tomorrow’s a Thursday anyway, its my slowest day at work unless there’s an emergency. If you need to talk about it I’ll stay.” Stan slid closer to Wendy on the bed until they were side by side, her still under the blanket, him on top. “the milk tax has got you really worried hasn’t it?” Great, Stan being obvious again. “Um, I’ll stay until you fall back to sleep again if you want.”  
“thanks, Stan.” Wendy said, “I just…. I was trying to help everyone. The towns debt is getting too much to handle, you know. I needed to do something, and it seemed like a good solution…” she signed, “I’m sorry. You don’t want to hear this…. let’s just try to sleep.” She said, laying her head back down on the pillow. She covered her body from the neck down tightly in the blankets, feeling sung and warm, trying to push out all of the thoughts of angry taxpayers and milk, “I’m sorry, do you want any blanket, Stan?” she offered. 

“Thanks, are you comfortable?” Stan crawled under the blanket and shut off the side table lamp again. “And I don’t mind hearing it. Getting the creator of the milk tax’s point of view. I still don’t think everyone hares you, people think they’re fighting back by boycotting it but it’s really just a been a minor inconvenience. The worst is when someone brings dairy cows into the office, I have to hear about how they’re not getting any business. But I doubt they’d lynch you over it. It seems really unfair for your superiors to kick you of out office and let the tax continue though.”

“I appreciate your support, Stan.” Wendy said, hugging the pillow close, eyes unfocused and constantly surveying the room, “I really let people down though. Even aside everything else, I let everyone down.” She said, and then as if only just now realizing what he said, she sat up slightly. “they should do that! You’re a vet, why should they complin to you about it? Ugh.” She let herself crash down into the bed again, “I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I just want to forget want to talk about it anymore. I just want to forget it ever happened. Just forget….thanks fort everything, Stan.” She said again, not looking at him, too embarrassed by the circumstances, not to mention being tired. 

“I’m the only veterinarian in a small redneck town, Wendy. I deal with a lot of farm animals and farmers. Its part of the reason I still live in South Park, they needed a vet and one who won’t put every animal to sleep that comes in. This town needed me, and Colorado needed you, Wendy. If only to be a scape goat. They fired you yet kept the tax so obviously your idea is still being used in some way.” Stan reached over and patted Wendy on the back. 

“you know, you’re right, Stan. You always knew how to put things into perspective.” Wendy smiled slightly- it was true. When she tried to explain things to people, they usually didn’t care of understand- but when there was an issue concerning the town, Stan and Kyle would pitch in a long, touching speech and everyone would understand and fix things. “You’re smarter than I give you credit for.” She added. He was a natural born leader, more so than her- he knew how to stir and keep people’s attention and how to make complex things make sense to them. 

Stan saw the curve of her check in the moonlight. He hid a small smile himself knowing he had gotten thought to her, helped her feel better in the smallest way. But his smile disappeared at her other remark. Smarter than she gives him credit for? It was like that again, wasn’t it? Suddenly he felt like they were kids again. Pretending not to give a crap about each other. Maybe because he was about to sleep in his old bedroom. Stan rolled over so his back was facing her. “Anyway, enough of that, let’s talk about something else. The nineteenth is Friday. Do you remember why that day is important to me?”

“Your birthday.” She said quickly, “it was the 19th, right? No, it was the 20th…no, it had to be the 19th.” She corrected herself, “Wow, I didn’t even realize it was coming up so soon….what are your plans?” she asked. Stan never seemed to keep her around for his birthday. Even that legendary tenth birthday party she had missed and ended up spending alone at home researching for a science paper. 

“yep. I’m going to be twenty-eight. I already told everyone to not do anything on the actual day since I’ve had messed up birthdays pretty much since I turned nine. You remember Butters from high school, right? He insisted on taking me out on my lunch break but after work I was just planning on visiting my mom and stepdad. But I could cancel those plans and do something with you instead. If you wanted to.” Stan turned around hopefully, but Wendy had shut her eyes and her breathing was regular. She had fallen asleep, had she heard that last thing he said? Probably not. Stan quietly started to slide out of the bed, but Wendy’s hand shot out from under the blanket, wrapping around his waist and he froze in place. Maybe she had heard after all.

Wendy was a light sleeper, so hearing Stan’s 7am alarm, despite it being the in the other room, woke her straight up. She decided not to wake Stan up and found her bag on the floor and headed to the bathroom. She took out her toothbrush, surveying her surroundings. Stan’s bathroom hadn’t changed a bit. She looked at herself in the mirror- she looked terrible. She needed a good shower, to brush her hair, not to mention a lot of makeup. Ugh. Stan must think she looked disgusting. She, signed, brushed her teeth and took Stan’s comb to take care of her hair. It was a hassle, but she got it to look okay, if not to her satisfaction. Finally, she left the bathroom and went to the kitchen- maybe she could make Stan breakfast to repay him for letting her stay there?

For sleeping on a secondhand bed he had gotten at a thrift store, Stan would honestly not remember the last time he had slept so well. He stretched lazily in bed not quite ready to open his eyes yet and reached over to Wendy’s side, if she was so into cuddling these days, to say good morning. His hands felt nothing but blankets and pillows.

Dammit. Stan finally opened his eyes and sat up in bed, for a split second contemplating calling into work to spend extra time with Wendy. But no, the office needed him. He got up and shuffled over to the bathroom, grabbing his red toothbrush from the holder on the sink, noticing the addition of a purple one next to his. Don’t get your hopes up, Stanley. 

He flicked on the bathroom lights and looked himself in the mirror, noticing something worse. “What the fuck is up with my face?” Stan examined the sore appearing on his cheek, noticing another one on the back of his left hand. He knew not to poke at the sores or that gross white crap would come out again. He ate meat every day and enjoyed it. What could possibly be causing him to break out in vaginitis again? The fact he had slept next to Wendy all night and had only spelt? Stan was embarrassed but headed downstairs to ask Wendy what the hell he should do.

Wendy stood in the kitchen over burnt toast and half, cooked waffles with tap water in milk glasses- dammit, she used to be a good cook! How could she screw this up? She sighed and put butter on the remains of the toast and waited for Stan to arrive, disappointed in herself. She was falling apart. It felt like she was losing all the kn0oledge she had, but she knew that was bullshit- it was her mojo or whatever they call it. She heard footsteps and turned. 

Stan walked into the kitchen and had to crack a smile. He went over and set the toaster to ‘medium’ instead of ‘high’ Wendy looked frazzled, but Stan pulled her into a hug with his non vagina sored arm. “you cooked, how sweet. You mind if I add something to this feast?” He went to the cabinet pulling out his largest frying pan and pulling out bacon, sausage likes, and ham and setting it to cook. 

“Oh, I can’t resist bacon.” Wendy admitted, “I just figured I cold make up staying at your house by being a little useful. I kind of screwed up I know, but hey I’ll do better tomorrow, I promise.” Going quickly from low self-esteem to complete confidence again, her mood still erratic, “Any other chores you need done? I’d love to help out, you know, earn my stay around here.” Wendy didn’t like the idea of staying with someone, but more importantly, she hated the idea of moving in and not ding her fair share of work in return. 

“it looks delicious, rally.” Stan grabbed a slice of toast that had just popped up from the toaster and smeared some of the small amount of butter he had left in the house, smiling as he took a bite. “you don’t have to do that much but if you insist on helping, go let the dogs outside. I’ll stay here and finish cooking. I guess I can start making eggs or something. I remember you liked them over medium when we were kids, right?”   
“These days I take egg whites only, scrambled. But maybe my old favorite would be best right now. Thanks again. I’ll go get the dogs now.” A slight blush colored Wendy’s cheeks as she quickly left. Stan shrugged but went into the fridge pulling out a carton of eggs, she hadn’t said anything about the sore on his face. He took another bite of his toast and looked at the back of his hand, noticing the sore healing at a rapid rate. Stan examined his piece of half burned toast. When was the last time he had any dairy?

The dogs rushed in and ran to Stan, gathering around him watching intently for crumbs to fall they could eat up. Animals always seemed to be hungry. Wendy rolled her eyes and called them over to the door. Nothing. She sighed, went to the counter, “Stan where are the dog biscuits?” Stan pointed to once of the cabinets and Wendy took out a few milk bones. That got the dog’s attention. Wendy ran to the back door and tossed the teats into the yard, the dogs running after them. She closed the door behind them, ‘Taken care of.” She smiled.

“Good job, smart of you. Its my own damn fault for spoiling my dogs that they never really listen when given a command.” Stan flipped the bacon and sausage he was cooking and grabbed another piece of toast, slathering an even larger amount of butter on it, carefully watching the back of his hand as he ate. Wendy opening and closed cabinets until she found a bag of ground Tweek Bros Brand coffee.  
“Stan, why do you have four dogs? It seems a bit much.” Stan grabbed two coffee mugs and handed them over to Wendy who was making coffee.

“They’ve all been abandoned or mistreated in some way from my work. I guess I grew attached to each dog so I ended up keeping them until I could find homes for them. I house all kinds of dogs, I’m just running out of people willing to adopt.”

“It’s a shame.” Wendy shook her heard sympathetically as she got the coffee brewing. Stan finished off his toast and sighed.

“Do you mind taking over the cooking, Wendy? I have to run to the store really fast. Do you want anything?”

“I could burn it again.” She mumbled, “I’ll try, Stan. I’m sure I’ll do fine.” There was the confident Wendy he knew. “Good luck at the store.” She nodded with a confident smile. Inside, she was the same insecure girl, unfortunately. 

"You'll do fine Wendy, it's just bacon. It's not that difficult to screw up." Stan cracked a smile at her as he grabbed his coat and car keys. "And hey Wendy, this might not mean much but you'll still always be the same Wendy I always knew, through your ups and downs of your career. you're intelligent enough to take action and see it though correctly to the end, and if things end up messy, I'll be here to help." Stan considered giving her another hug, but didn't want her to catch sight of the sore on his hand or cheek. He quickly left out the front door, first to cure his allergy but also to come back with something that will hopefully make her smile for more than five minutes. Would flowers be too forward, not to mention cheesy?

"Thanks Stan." Wendy said quietly as Stan left, touched. It wasn't often she received a compliment - and that was definitely the nicest thing anyone'd ever said to her. Stan always had a way with words, always knew how to make her feel better. She sighed, wondering silently what had gone wrong between the two... she sighed and pushed the sad thought away trying to focus on Stan. Why did he always go so out of his way to make her happy? She checked the bacon quickly - phew. It was fine... so far.

xXx

When Stan was nine years old, he'd made a point to support local businesses after destroying the town's Wal-Mart, high prices or not. He entered Jim's Drug, approaching the dairy section and gawking at the prices - a carton of milk was nearly seven dollars, a gallon twelve. He hadn't been paying attention and realized just how carried away Wendy's fellow politicians had gotten with the milk tax. He didn't even realize he'd been approached, "It's a shame, Dr. Marsh, them greedy politicians think they can tax whatever they want and the dumb consumers'll stay quiet and pay whatever they ask."

Stan sighed, "Hi Mr. Weathers, how are you?" An aged, gray-haired Darryl Weathers ignored Stan's greeting and continued the rant in his same hick-accented voice, "Those big-wig fat cats don't give a damn about us decent hardworking folk. I miss my goddamn milk! The stupid bitch senator who screwed everything up resigned and prices have only gone up... using the profits for their own gain..." Weathers' rant descended into mumbling.

"That's not true, they're using that money to lower the budget deficit. How long have you been on unemployment?" Stan asked.

"I wouldn't have been on unemployment so long in my years workin' if they didn't keep takin' my jerb! They took away all the dairy farmers jobs as well!" Weathers stopped his cart nearby and began picking up vegetables.

"They tooker jerbs!" came Farmer Carl Denkins as he passed by, the same farmer Stan not-so-fondly remembered as reporting UFO's, selling turkeys, and selling veal - as well as being a victim of the dreaded Chickenlover, and most infamously, shooting Jack Tenorman and his wife for trespassing.

"If they didn't keep screwing things up over in Denver, I'd have a much sweeter retirement. Watch out Dr. Marsh your job might be next." Weathers warned.

"I'll keep that in mind." Stan said through clenched teeth as he loaded up the shopping cart with every dairy product the store carried.

"Taxing the cigarettes and the milk, what's next? Suckin' the life blood out of us, lousy politicians. Fuckin' Testaburger promised change... when's it comin'?" Stan rolled his eyes and pushed his cart to escape the crazy redneck. If only Weathers knew that supposed politician was staying at his house and feeling so depressed over the issue. It was true - the average Colorado citizen hated Wendy - the faster she left, the better. Stan mentally told himself off - he didn't want Wendy's nightmare to come true. He realized he had entered the party favor section - though he was hesitant to grab flowers he had an idea of something to cheer her up and get her mind off the situation.

"The total will be $104.28 sir." The blonde female cashier at Jim's Drug said. Stan sighed and handed over his credit card. "I think it's so great, Doctor..." The cashier looked at the name on the card. "Marsh, supporting the dairy industry like this."

"Oh it's okay, I really needed it. All this stuff in fact."

"Yeah the average person really needs six gallons of milk at once, and mini sizes as well. It's so caring." The cashier leaned over and fluttered her eyelashes as she rang up his purchases, her voice becoming a bit more confident, "Is there a Mrs. Marsh?" Oh jeez, this girl had to had been still in high school or a college freshman at the best.

'No there isn't, not yet anyway..." Stan admitted quietly, a hint of regret in his voice.

"Shame. Girlfriend?" Stan hesitated, a part of him wanting to say 'the same girl since third grade' but that would be a lie, plus he didn't want to piss off Wendy in any way.

"Um...no. Not really..."

The cashier gave Stan a huge smile and fluffed her blonde hair. "Awesome. You know, I was thinking of dying my hair, what do you think Dr. Marsh? Do you prefer blondes or redheads?" she asked slyly.  
"Actually I've always been kind of a sucker for brunettes. I better get going, see you." Stan grabbed his shopping bags in a hurry to get out of there, making sure never to shop there when that girl was around. He peeked into the one bag that didn't hold any dairy products, he was missing one crucial thing. He was going to be late to work anyway, might as well get what he needed. Stan grabbed from of the bags a small container of chocolate milk, something he couldn't remember drinking since elementary school, feeling more and more like a kid and headed over to the toy store.

The toy shop didn't normally open until 8:00am but Stan had special permission, or rather he knew the owner and he was easily persuaded. He pounded on the door of the shop. "Dude, it's Stan, let me in, I need something. Come on, Butters."

Butters awoke with a start at the sound of the banging. Oh hamburgers-7:30! He should've been awake an hour ago! He'd never normally oversleep like this: Mom 'n' Dad would kill him if they heard he was letting business slack but that delivery of Slutz dolls (complete with dance pole, losable underwear and fake ID) had arrived so goshdarn late...Oh, those companies steamed his waffles sometimes! Not that he was complaining of course. It was still his stupid fault for oversleeping.

Quickly shoving on his pants and a clean shirt, Butters ran downstairs, pulling on socks and tie on his way down. Oh golly, what if it was a customer? They might be angry that he wasn't open. Oh wait, he knew that voice! He jumped the last few steps, nearly tripping over his cat in his haste and pulled the door open, "Why, it's Stan! Well, G'mornin' t'ya, Stan-w-what can I d-do for y'?"

Stan pushed himself into the store, noting Butters' rumpled appearance. "You were sleeping in your office again weren't you? Anyway I'm planning a gift for...a friend and I need a little toy cruise ship to complete it. You have those don't you?"

"T-toy cruise ship?"

Well, just why the Sam Hill would Stan want one of those? The few times Stan did come by the store were usually to pick up a toy for his dogs or to see if Butters would be willing to give a stray animal a good home, not generally to buy something like that.

"Well, I-I ain't really sure what we g-got Stan," Sunny meandered into the room, cross-eyed as ever. He picked up the fluffy, yellow cat and hugged her to him. She was getting big now. He'd have to get Stan to schedule him an appointment to get up to date with vaccinations some time... "But we can take a look 'n' s-see. Who knows, maybe we'll be cruisin' f-fer success" He giggled. He cracked himself up sometimes. He headed back into the aisles of the shop, still holding the cat and scanned the shelves, picking up items that seemed likely, "W-Well, Stan, we got a Lego one, that's $13.95 which looks pretty neato. O-or there's Barbie's dream boat, which is pretty nice. Why, it even comes with a built-in hot tub! There's the H-Hello K-k-kitty one, o'course, but the cats kinda like that one-S-Sunny, don't scratch it, girl-or there's this really nice li'l wooden one?"

Ugh, Butters could be so annoying at times, he probably had to have something wrong with him to be that goddamn optimistic all the time. Stan was a bit sad out of all his old friends it had to be Butters who stuck around. But Stan had to be nice, he and Butters stuck together no matter what. The only other people each of them had was their families, and Butters' parents were way more insane than Stan's were. Well maybe their dads could have a contest to something.

"This wooden one is perfect, it's almost a scale replica of a real one." Stan picked up the box and looked it over. "29.99$ What the hell? Is it a collectible or something?"

"Y-yeah, I reckon so. A-actually, old Mr Marcus over at the model store had one left over an' asked me if I wanted one fer helpin' him out with that ol' termite problem he was having last month. Mean ta be $200."  
Butters did feel slightly guilty for charging so much for it. It was a really nice model and all but...Stan was his buddy. They stuck together no matter what. And Stan had done a lot for him, what with getting all the pets, and that one time when Stan'd covered for him to his parents while Butters was meeting Lexus for afternoon tea...which'd somehow morphed into a visit to Peppermint Hippo. His parents would totally kill him if they found out.

"T-tell y' what, Stan. Why don't y' just take it now an-and pay me back...when y'can afford it, huh?"

Stan sighed as he looked at the toy cruise ship, it was a perfect replica of what he remembered. Originally 200$? "Butters you have to stop doing that, letting people take advantage of you. You know I'll pay you back but how often do you do that with all your other customers? How do you stay in business doing stuff like that? I'll take it though, the sticker price right?"

Stan headed towards the register, ready to use his credit card again. "Do you have any gift wrap options? Would you also wrap some other stuff I bought in a huge box?"

Butters shuffled his feet uneasily. It was true he probably gave discounts more than he oughta...like the other day when Kevin McCormick had come in, why he'd looked so stressed and unhappy when he found he'd left his wallet at home that Butters hadn't the heart to make him put all the stuff back. It was for the kids after all. "I-I uh, don't let people off so easy all the time. Just...just f-fer friends, like".

He made his way over to the counter, and rummaged around the shelves underneath, until he found the biggest box he had, which contained, he found, as he set it down on the countertop, Bubbles the hamster. Oh good, he'd wondered where she'd gotten to. Although where the other five, newly born hamsters beside her had come from, he'd no idea.

"This big enough, Stan?"

Stan cocked an eyebrow at the box. "I'm not sure if We- if my friend would like a gift in a giant Easy Bake Oven box. But if you have nothing else, I'm sure it will do."

Stan placed the cruise ship on the counter along with his other bag of supplies, picking up the hamster and expertly looking into its eyes and mouth. "She just had babies? Did you make an appointment to have the newborn hamsters all checked? Or would you like me to do it now while you wrap?"

Butters blushed. This wasn't making him look like the best pet owner ever. Although he did try his best, sometimes the girls just got the better of him. He hoped his parents didn't find out about this. They might try and give them to Goodwill like they had with the minions in later life.

"W-would ya, Stan? I'll uh, I'll see if I can't wrap this box up, make it look nice." He held out a few tubes of wrapping paper, "I-is purple okay?"

"Purple is absolutely perfect, one problem though. Newborn hamsters can't be moved from their birth spot for ten days and from the looks of it these babies still have their eyes closed. Just leave them in the box and make sure to give them plenty of fresh food and water. Maybe another box would be best."

Stan went to Butters' office to retrieve a box of food, filling a small dish with water as well. "I thought all your hamsters had girls’ names, how did this one get pregnant? there something you're not telling me about your pets?" Stan smiled as he talked, teasing Butters was just too easy at times.

"Oh, w-well, there's a doll's house box under here somewhere" Butters scrabbled around some more, accidentally banging his head on the bottom shelf, "OW! Aw, son of a biscuit!" Stupid shelves...why, he'd just go and have them taken out one of these days they didn't stop being so mean...He straightened up, holding the box in one hand while he rubbed his sore head with the other, "Well, Buttercup has b-been going through a-a tomboy stage lately...I just figured she'd grow out of it. Why just the other day, She and Bubbles were cuddl- Oh." Oh great. He had a lesbian hamster. No, bad Butters, that wasn't the right attitude. Why, if Buttercup was a lesbian, that was her right to be and he'd love her love the same.

Butters banging his head spilled a bit of the water Stan had put down. "Watch it, too much moisture is bad for new born hamsters and I'm pretty sure your Buttercup is a boy, you might have to keep HIM separate from the rest if you don't want this to happen, unless you want me to 'fix' your hamsters. You want me to start asking around if anyone wants to adopt a baby hamster?"

Butters blinked. Neuter...Buttercup? His special little girl...guy, he corrected himself. But Stan had a point, he guessed. He could probably just about manage 8 if no one wanted any of the hamsters, but if there was any more, he'd probably not be able to manage. He sighed, as he began to cover the box with the shiny, purple paper, "Yeah, I guess. So uh, what's the occasion, Stan?"

"Nothing!" Stan had his head bent over the box taking care of the newborn hamsters but he shot up, hoping he wasn't blushing. "Just wrap it up Butters and make it look nice. I have to go to work soon and I don't want to be late." He realized he was being really obvious, usually Butters wouldn't catch on to things like that but Stan had to be sure. "Don't tell anyone about this Butters, at all. Do that and next time you visit my office I'll give you half off the price, okay?"

xXx

Wendy kept a close eye on the bacon as she flipped through the television - when the bacon was finished she quickly turned off the fire and put it on a paper towel on a plate, covering them and deciding to wait for Stan to get back - they may not be fresh but it felt rude to eat without him. She yawned and went by the window to check on the dogs in the yard and they were jumping at the door, eager to come in and get food of their own. Rolling her eyes, Wendy looked in Stan's closet where she remembered he used to keep Sparky's food and found a massive bag of Kibbles n' Bits. She found the dog bowls in the kitchen and filled each with two scoops of food - just a guess - and then walked out into Stan's yard. The dogs all jumped at her, and she quickly ran away from them and put down the bowls before running back to the porch, the dogs attacking the bowls as if they hadn't eaten in days, despite each clearly being a little on the fat side: Stan fed them well. "You guys have a great master, you know that?" she smiled.

The dogs paid no heed, just trying to eat as much as they physically could. "Stan's a really nice guy, I've always felt bad so much shit happens to him all the time, he doesn't deserve it... he just tries to be nice and people take advantage of him I guess... but it's really cool being around him again. I feel like he's changed somehow... in a really awesome way... " she smiled as Tyler and Shane stared off over the remainder of Tyler's bowl, Tyler winning and going for it while Shane laid down and crossed his paws. "It's fun to be spending time around him again and it's really nice of him to be letting me stay with him..." Wendy sighed slightly but caught what she said, "He's always been a good... friend. Sometimes I feel bad things didn't work out for us... but it's for the best."

Tyler finished and laid down by Shane, with Sparky II yawning. Wendy continued her charade, "I don't know... I mean Stan's such a great guy, maybe I should give him another chance, but... would he even want me back? After all the things I've done to him? What if he's gay or something? What if he doesn't like me because everyone hates me? ...No, Stan wouldn't be that way." Wendy sighed, "I'm sorry I'm being so insecure... I used to be so confident but after everything earlier I'm just not sure anymore... God, Wendy, get a grip on yourself, girl, this isn't Bebe, you're talking to a bunch of stray dogs taken in by your boyfriend! Ex-boyfriend... ugh. God, please, if me and Stan are meant to be, give me a sign..." she looked up as she said this, curious if the hippo-cat thing in the sky was listening.

The veterinary office opened every day at 8:00 on the dot and as Stan got home, he saw the clock showed he would be at least fifteen minutes late. "Wendy, I have to go to work. Come here!" Stan shoved two pieces of bacon in his mouth as he shoved his many cartons of milk into the fridge. He grabbed a carton and poured two glasses of milk. "Wendy come here please? I got you a surprise." he placed the large box on the kitchen table as he ran upstairs to grab his lab coat.

Wendy sighed, noticing the amount of milk he bought - he shouldn't have to spend so much on it, being a vet probably didn't even pay that well. Why did she seem to always make Stan's life so shitty? She noticed the box and smiled a little - he was such a sweet guy., she was lucky she dated him in the first place. They weren't even dating, and he was already buying her gifts again. Man, she was lucky.  
Stan didn't have time to shower - he threw on his scrubs and lab coat and ran down the stairs while still combing his hair. He caught Wendy smiling at the box. "Good that box was meant to cheer you up. I have to go but you open it and keep that smile on your face okay?" Stan grabbed another single serving of milk and faced Wendy in the kitchen. In one motion he grabbed his keys and landed a small peck on her cheek, the he left before she had time to say anything about it. A peck on the cheek was out of kindness, sisterly even. Nothing more. Stan repeated these platonic thoughts in his head as he raced to work. He had to force his face to relax, but it was so easy for his mouth to curl into a very contagious smile.

Wendy put a hand to her cheek and was overcome by a strong blush. Oh man, he had to still like her! What kind of guy kisses a girl when he doesn't like her? No, no, European guys do that all the time... she was just making a big deal out of nothing. Stan didn't still like her. The affection was purely platonic. No, that's a lie, too. She looked up, "Is that a sign?" she asked before dismissing her sillyness. God would never answer her question. She sighed and looked at the box - it was wrapped quite prettily. A part of her wished to wait until Stan was around to open it, but he did say open it... she quickly took off the wrapping paper with a bit of excitement to see a wooden cruise ship, a bottle of champagne, a flower lei, and a note:

Dear Wendy,

Sit back, calm down and have a mini-vacation. You deserve it with all the shit you've been through.

\- Stan

A smiled crossed Wendy's lips as she put the flower lei over her head - Stan was so thoughtful! She sighed and took out the ship, closely examining it before gently placing it on the table, and finally taking out the bottle of champagne, uncapping it and taking a small sip. She opened the fridge again and frowned a little at the milk, questioning again why Stan had bought so much before looking to her champagne bottle again.

To Be Continued...


	3. Chapter 3

Stan's car flew down the icy roads on his way to work. He mentally cursed every stop sign and red light he hit. Good thing he had a pretty cool receptionist who let things like this slide but he wouldn't be able to forgive himself if he was really needed and over half an hour late.

Finally, he made it to work, slamming his car door shut Stan tried to make a discreet entrance. Karen emerged from the back room, glass cleaner and a roll of paper towels in her hand, a small smirk on her face. Busted.

"You're awfully late, Stan."

"Yeah I...overslept." Stan rubbed the back of his neck. "Any messages?"

Karen looked over at her boss's rumpled appearance but said nothing, her smirk becoming a genuine smile. "Don't worry, if there had been an emergency I would have called your cell phone."

She knew him too well. "Yeah of course." Stan reached into his pockets, just retrieving his keys and wallet. "It wouldn't matter anyway, I forgot it in my rush. Excuse me I have to make a phone call from my office, forward all my messages there if you can."

"Sure Stan, are you having pre birthday jitters or something?"

"Something like that. How did you know it was almost my birthday?"

"My brother told me, he said he would call you later. Should I just tellhim to call the office?"

"Sure." Karen turned from the window she was cleaning to the frontoffice computer, Stan could see the Facebook logo at the top of her screen. So they were talking about him on that site? He rolled his eyes as he entered his office.

Nearly two years ago when Stan first opened his veterinary practice Kenny had been the one he was always hanging around, sticking around town after college graduation. Stan had done Kenny a favor by offering his younger sister a job while Kenny finished up his training at the police academy. The girl had proved her worth, even taking classes at the local community college to be able to assist Stan. Karen was just a semester shy for getting her own veterinary technician license. It was nice to have a loyal assistant but Stan felt annoyed at Karen's nosiness, constantly reporting back to Kenny via the internet on what he was doing.

Stan sat at his desk - the healing sore on his hand and cheek itched.

Stan was still baffled why he had broken out, it bugged him. He wasn't that big of a pussy was he? Stan quickly turned on his own work computer and brought up Web M.D. typing in 'vaginitus' After a quick skim of the article it all made sense. Then he remembered his no cell phone dilemma.

Wendy was at his house and told him she'd help him in any way she could. Being without his cell phone would be inconvenient but he was unsure if she should leave the house to bring it to him, not with the way he heard the South Park citizens talking about her.

Still he picked up his office phone, hesitating a bit before dialing his home phone number. Maybe he was being a bit transparent, but he wanted to know what she thought of his gift.

xXx

Wendy was sitting on Stan's couch watching television - she'd considered popping in a DVD but it felt like an invasion of privacy, and the last thing she wanted to do was offend Stan. Besides he didn't have anything she was that interested in - mostly action movies from when they were kids, some nature documentaries, a bunch of old comedy specials, a little older Sci-Fi, the entire Hangover series, Funnybot's movies...

But no, she'd just turned on the television without even changing the channel. Jesus & Pals was on, and the current guest was a woman who looked strangely familiar, under the headline - "CRACK WHORE AT SIXTY" she shrugged and reconsidered grabbing a DVD when the phone rang. She quickly grabbed it and answered, "Hello?"

Stan twisted the phone cord around in his fingers half wondering if she was bothering her or something. "Hey Wendy, what are you doing? Are you busy?"

"Not at all, Stan, not at all. How's work?" Wendy asked with a smile, glad to have someone to talk to. Considering the majority of the town wanted her dead, nobody could blame her for feeling lonely - Wendy had enough alone time during her time in office than to last her a while.

Besides, it was Stan, and she always enjoyed speaking with him.

"Oh it's fine, no one has come into the office yet so I have a bit of free time." She seemed awfully interested what was going on in his life, they hadn't seen each other in so long. It was just politeness or something more? Like last time they were around each other all the time in high school. He wondered when this particular meeting would end yet again, they would get comfortable around each other another not care about what the other had to say as all couples do. Not that they were a couple or anything. Don't be a pessimist! Stan tried not to think about the old times, she was only staying a few days after all with him after all. No big deal, nothing would come of it. "Listen Wendy if you're not busy can you do me a favor?"

"Oh, of course, Stan, anything, what is it?" she asked with a smile, holding the phone tight. It was just like at the end of school when they used to call each other every night and just talk about all sorts of stupid stuff - or, more often, her whining to him about political stuff and him pretending to care when he was probably doing something with Kyle. She was horrible to him back then, wasn't she? No wonder she was so unpopular in High School.

"I left my cell phone at home and I was wondering if you could bring it to my office. You're fine with leaving the house aren't you?" Stan wanted to ask about his gift but he decided to let her bring it up first. "It's probably still charging in my bedroom."

Wendy nodded, "I'll go get it and be right there... I mean it's a quick ride, it's not like I'll be out in town or something... oh, thanks for the mini-vacation..." she added quietly, a blush crossing her cheeks, "It really... meant a lot to me... I mean, i-it's not often people do nice things for me..."

"Oh Wendy, you should let people do nice stuff for you. You really deserve it. My office is right off of Main Street. You probably remember the building when we were kids." Stan looked through his office window at Karen at her desk. "Can you meet me out in the parking lot? I'll wait for you."

"No, Stan, it's fine, I'll come in and bring it to you, don't worry." Wendy insisted, "I shouldn't have to hide my face in public," her confidence returned, getting up and going to his bedroom to pick it up.

"It's not that Wendy, it's just my receptionist is nosy and if she sees me with a girl who I'm...close to she'll tell half the town before lunch time." Stan looked out his office window to see Karen finishing up cleaning the windows. "Not that I'm ashamed of you, just you should know how rumors fly when people have nothing better to do."

"Okay, I'll be right there." Wendy picked up and pocketed his phone, "I understand fully. See you in a few, Stan." she smiled and hung up, going outside and going to the car she'd driven to Stan's home in.

"Alright, see you in a few. Bye." Stan hung up and looked out of his office to see Karen fiddling with the radio behind her desk. Time to play stern boss. He walked out into the lobby. "Hey Karen, it seems you haven't given any of the animals in the back fresh water. Have you even fed them yet?"

Karen's wide blue eyes like her brother's looked defensive. "I fed all the animals as soon as I came in!"

"Well in the big kennel one of the dogs knocked over their water bowl. Go refill it?" Stan kept a serious face on while Karen tried to come up with an excuse, finally rolling her eyes and going into the back without another word.

Stan smiled wickedly as he headed out to the parking lot. The weather in South Park, Colorado always turned frosty around autumn and Stan could see his breath as he stood in front of his office. This wouldn't do, he was just in his scrubs and labcoat. He grabbed his car keys from his pocket and quickly got into his car, turning the heat full blast and putting the defroster on so he could watch and get to Wendy before Karen returned from her mundane task.

Wendy pulled up after a few moments, rolling down the window and looking in the direction of Stan's car, recognizing him even through the window, she gave him a nod of acknowledgement, pulling out his phone.

Stan had been casually flipping through channels on the radio when THAT SONG came on. He smiled when Wendy pulled up and unlocked his passenger side door, excitedly motioning her to get in the car. Stan cranked the radio even louder. "Please tell me you recognize this song..."

"Chill out bug eyed girl, zap me into cinders..."

Wendy didn't seem to notice at first, crossing out and sitting in the seat next to him, letting her car keep running for the moment, "Stan, I noticed you bought a lot of milk... it's about the tax isn't it? Look Stan, I'm not supposed to tell you this but there's a special card you can get... hey, wait a minute, is that Elton John singing?" Wendy interrupted herself.

"Yeah it is. I asked him to write a song for my girlfriend in third grade... you. I can't believe it became a hit. How long ago was that."

Stan shifted uncomfortably in his seat as the song ended. "I have this slight allergy that if I stop eating certain food groups for noble causes I break out into...sores. The milk had nothing to do with you. I did it so the... sores wouldn't get worse." Stan held the back of his hand out to Wendy to show the scabbed over and almost healed vaginal sore. "It's a shame how expensive it was. I supported your cause though, that has to count for something, right?"

"Oh my God!" Wendy said in shock at his sore - poor Stan, he tried so hard and life always fucked him over in response for every good, decent deed he did, the poor man.

She put a hand on his shoulder, "Look Stan... I shouldn't tell you this but..." she looked both ways, "There's a special card you can get... you buy a gallon on milk and scan it, and you pay the regular price, without the extra tax." she told him, "I "

Stan shrank back in his seat at Wendy's reaction of grabbing his shoulder and fussing over him. He wasn't used to it. Not from her or anyone really, even though he had to admit being that close to Wendy again felt really nice. "It's not that that big of a deal Wendy. But if you wanted to do that for me that'd be fine." Stan felt funny being on government assistance but maybe that little tax free card in his wallet would always remind him of this time they're spending together.

"Sign up for it online later, I'll help you, if you say you have vaginitus, they can't say no." Wendy insisted with a confident nod, feeling a bit guilty - he'd insisted it wasn't her fault but somehow it still felt like it was.

"If you want to in my bedroom is a large black folder with my important papers. Social security card as well as some medical stuff. Take it out and I'll get to it after work." He saw the doubt in Wendy's eyes, god she was really bad with this whole milk fiasco. He turned her face towards his. "Listen Wendy, this will all blow over like I told you. You're helping me and you'll help others some day. How about I book your flight for Florida when I get home okay? If you're out of Colorado for a while you'll gain a perspective on things." Stan looked back at his office at Karen standing in the window staring them both down. This had taken longer than he had anticipated. "Listen I have to get back to work, I have a nine o'clock appointment. Just go back to my house and enjoy yourself. Keep yourself occupied."

Wendy nodded, "All right, Stan." she said simply, "Thanks." she nodded again before moving back into her car. She gave Stan one more nod before driving off - ugh, she was bothering him wasn't she? Clearly he didn't give two shits about the card, why should she bother trying to help him? He probably thinks she's crazy, too, just like everyone else, but he's too nice to tell her to fuck off. She shook her head - she was overthinking it. She overthought everything now. She needed to find something to calm herself down before she went crazy after all this, a way to go back the confident, calculative woman she was when she was elected.

Jesus christ. Where was the Wendy he had known all his life? She was gone and replaced with a shell of a person. He had half a mind to tell her to man up and face her problems head on, he had repeatedly told her he'd back her up but maybe his help wasn't enough.

Holding her in his arms had felt good, so right. But he knew she'd be off soon again. He should try to be more direct with her, but he was worried any feeling he had might slip out. They weren't kids anymore, they each had separate and busy lives. Stan had to face this fact.

Stan walked back into the office to see Karen typing away at her computer. Busted... again.

"All the animals in the back have fresh food and water Dr. Marsh. Hope that's okay with you."

"Yeah, thank you for doing your job, Miss McCormick." They only addressed eachother formally to get under each other's skin.

"You have a 9:30 appointment coming in and my brother wants to talk to you."

"Oh when did he call?"

Just then the office phone went off. "Just now, good luck Dr. Marsh." Karen gave her boss a fake sweet smile as Stan groaned and went to take it in his office. What the hell had Karen told him? Maybe he could get some advice though.

"Howdy hey, Doctor Marsh! How's cutting off the balls of God's creatures suiting you?" came Sergeant Kenny J. McCormick's gruff voice - he'd always hated the idea of getting animals fixed, even though the result was his cats bleeding all over his house once a month. People may change as they grow older, but Kenny never seemed to get old. Not only was he surprisingly fit for his age, able to recover pretty quick from serious injuries, but Kenny's personality didn't change a bit. "I just heard a very interestin' rumor about you and a Miss Wendy Testaburger!"

Stan rolled his eyes but had to laugh, remembering back to being fresh out of college and offering to practice neutering all the cats and dogs that hung around Kenny's house. Kenny would never let him live it down would he? He was excited and wanted to practice dammit! "Oh yeah, what exactly did you hear?" And how could Karen identify Wendy anyhow? From the news?"

"Now, now, Doctor, y'know, I never reveal my sources!" Kenny grinned, "But seriously, are you really gonna get back together with her for the thirty-ninth time? I mean, the price of milk has skyrocketed, Stan! My parents can't even afford it anymore! They eat cereal with water, Doctor! D'you have any idea how inhumane that is?" Kenny's voice mixed with seriousness and comedic over-dramatic-ness. "No Stan, in complete seriousness, you two aren't together again? Seriously?"

"Hey it wasn't her fault! It might have been her idea but her superiors skyrocketed the price so the average citizen couldn't afford it, I don't drink milk anymore either." Stan took a deep breath though his nose, realizing just how suspicious he sounded. "We are not together, she just needed a place to crash in until she could get herself sorted out, nothing more."

"And that place was your bed, right Stan?"

"God Kenny, I forget how shitty you can be sometimes." Stan nosebridgepinched, "No Kenny, I'm not screwing her, she's only been here one night anyway and she spent more time crying than sleeping. God has she changed..."

"What Stan, you prefer the Wendy that'll beat up the bad men for you, not the one who needs you to protect her from all those mean citizens who can't drink milk because of her?" Stan was pretty annoyed, but he could hear Kenny's laugh right through the phone, and despite knowing he wasn't serious, he was pretty pissed, "Guess Stan doesn't like wearing the pants!"

"There are no pants to be worn Kenny. We aren't in a relationship."

"You don't have to be serious to not enjoy wearing or not wearing pants in front of each other. I see how it is, Stan."

"I'm getting sick of your double meanings Kenny. I'm pretty sure she doesn't like me like that anymore."

Kenny quit laughing. "So she's just using you, is that what you're saying?"

"I don't know dude."

"And if she did like you back you wouldn't jump at the chance again? I know it's more than just sex but when's the last time you got any, Stan?"

Stan rolled his eyes, carefully trying to avoid that subject. "What do you think I should do about it then?"

"I don't know Stan, I'd like to wait until after I finish my cereal...oh wait, I can't, 'cause I'm all out of milk!" Kenny said with clear annoyance.

"Oh, Kenny, you guys are blowing this whole milk thing way out of proportion..."

"No Stan, you don't understand what it's life at all. You don't even drink milk do you, cause it's from cows, right?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean? I drink milk, well I used to. I went without like everyone else until this morning because I couldn't take it anymore." Stan scratched at the back of his hand, sore completely healed by now. He'd give Kenny about another five seconds of his patience before he hung up on him. "Seriously dude, milk protest aside do you think I should try to go for it with Wendy again?" He'd hear Kenny's half baked opinion, then hang up on him.

"No. She had her chance with you and she blew it, time to move on to greener pastures." Kenny told him simply - he was being honest.

**Author's Note:**

> John's Original Notes: The primary inspiration for this story was a topic at the South Park Studios official message board called "Stan and Wendy in Season 15" which generally came down to the majority of the board being against Stan and Wendy as a couple for a wide variety of reasons, but the most oft-cited being they were clearly just in "puppy love". The idea of this fic was quite simply to portray the characters rebuilding that same relationship decades later.
> 
> My Newer Notes: Back by popular demand. Happy Valentine's Day! If you like this, go read and comment on Abnormally Average since that's the story I care more about. More of these chapters to come as soon and I can find them.


End file.
